Lyrics

THIS AIN'T NO WEAPON, IT'S A GOLF CLUB

If you are what you eat
Then you must be
A swine and best
An unborn embryo
A Peking, a Peking, a Peking
A Peking, A Peking, a Peking,
Duck

c 1994 by Wishnefsky, Dave Rodgers, and Todd Jameson

Dave – talking drum, Snapple bottle (half-empty), floor crash, mister egg
Todd – talking drum manipulation, Snapple (half-full)
Wishnefsky – fuzz vocal, bass, alien guitar

COMMENTS
The title of this unusual piece of music is a verbatim quote from the lips a surly, tattooed gangbanger being interviewed on the nightly news. Having been arrested for brandishing a dangerous weapon, he eloquently defended his right to carry a seven iron on the streets of Los Angeles, miles from the nearest golfing facility. The abject stupidity displayed by this young thug became a running joke among my friends and me for quite some time. As far as I am concerned, the only weapon anyone should ever be allowed to carry is their sense of humor.

I sang the vocals through a children’s toy. We hid that toy in a special place in the studio in case we ever wanted to recreate the sound. Exercising remarkable foresight, it turned out that we needed that silly little toy when we played this song live at the Sunset Club Southland one-off show. It actually sounded great and I really enjoyed performing it. Nonetheless, the reaction of the audience, essentially one of perplexed fear and wide-eyed confusion, convinced us to omit the song from subsequent set lists.

When we wrote and recorded this song, we sought to create a unique aural experience for the listener. If you don’t know what to think, then, clearly, we accomplished our goal.

Wishnefsky